My Year in Review
May 17, 2010: I’m pregnant! Bliss!
May 19, 2010: I’m bleeding like I’ve never bled before. The horror, the horror.
May 27, 2010: I’m still pregnant and still bleeding.
May 27, 2010-July 26, 2010: Subchorionic hematoma diagnosed. Bedrest at home. Also, pelvic rest. Gilmore Girls, Ann Hood novels, aggressive reading of pregnancy message boards (generally a bad idea, but it’s how I knew my water was breaking and how I knew that babies could survive such an event).
July 26, 2010-August 18, 2010: Honeymoon period. Bleeding has stopped. Bedrest eased. Pelvic rest continues (sorry, Herr Husband. Also, sorry, me).
August 18, 2010: Baby diagnosed with Persistent Right Umbilical Vein. This turns out to be a red herring, but we won’t know that until I’m already in the hospital. Anxiety resumes.
August 28, 2010: Hipster Hausfrau and Herr Husband’s apartment diagnosed with bedbugs.
August 30, 2010: Criminal element with roots in Nigeria and Iran hack into Hipster Hausfrau’s email and claim she has been mugged in Wales. It takes Hipster Hausfrau two days to wrest control of her email and Facebook back from them. Hipster Hausfrau actually says, “Yes, this week has sucked, but at least the baby is ok.” Stupid, stupid, stupid.
September 6, 2010: My water breaks. It’s Labor Day. See, irony isn’t always funny. Resident tells me to terminate pregnancy. To convince me, she says, “What kind of baby do you want to have?” I say, “Fuck you.” I know, this is a family blog and I won’t swear a lot. But this merits swearing. Actually, what I say is, “I’m not prepared to have this conversation with you right now,” which I think is remarkably composed.
September 6, 2010-October 21, 2010: Hospitalization at Columbia Presbyterian. Friday Night Lights, Herr Husband’s turn as bedpan emptier extraordinaire, constant Hipster Hausfrau and Das Baby monitoring by team of doctors, nurses, and one particularly callow med student who almost conducted her exam on Herr Husband (it was dark, but still).
11:08 a.m. October 21, 2010: After the professionals repeatedly declare Hipster Hausfrau to NOT be in labor, despite her groans to the contrary, she delivers the most beautiful tiny baby ever. Das Baby weighs two-pounds, five ounces and cries when he is born. This is a good sign. His mother’s first words to him are, “He’s so tiny, and so purple.” Oops.
5:00 p.m. Das Baby’s parents are allowed to see, but not touch, him.
3:00 a.m. Das Baby’s parents receive a phone call in Hipster Hausfrau’s hospital room that he is in severe respiratory distress and requires high frequency ventilation (the oscillator) and nitric oxide (not to be confused with nitrous oxide, which the Hipster Hausfrau enjoyed as her first buzz in seven months earlier that day during the D&C of her placenta). Parents are told this is Das Baby’s only option, and it “might work.”
5:00 a.m. It works, and Das Baby’s parents are allowed to see him.
October 28, 2010: Hipster Hausfrau first holds her son. Magic.
October 29, 2010-Feburary 11, 2011: Das Baby in NICU. Usual course of ups and downs, joys and miseries. Fantastic care by kind, attentive and knowledgeable staff (big love to the nurses, big glare at the one meany doctor). More on this whole experience later, no doubt.
January 25, 2010: Hipster Hausfrau resumes her studies in The New School MFA program in Creative Nonfiction Writing.
Feburary 11, 2011: Das Baby released to home (Gigi and Popsi’s house, aka Hipster Hausfrau’s parents) in Boston ‘burbs. He is still on oxygen (to this day).
March 2, 2011: Das Baby first smiles.
March 15: Das Baby first laughs.
March 17, 2011: Das Baby has hernia surgery. (Too much heavy lifting).
May 10, 2011: Das Baby rolls over. Sometimes Baby tricks are the same as dog tricks. But cuter.
May 17, 2011: Hipster Hausfrau finishes the semester from Boston, thanks to the generosity and flexibility of her New School professors.
June 22, 2011: HH & HH close on their new suburban home.